I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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