My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
