I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
