I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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