I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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