I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
