I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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