After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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