sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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