But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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