And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
