I wannas sexs uuuuu
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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