Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
