you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
