Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
