it was like eating out sand paper
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
