my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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