quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
