youre lurking in front of me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's rum buckets o'clock
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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