Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
