dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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