my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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