If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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