whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
