it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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