You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
