I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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