Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize