It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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