i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
