last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
