You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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