it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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