His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
