meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
