how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
