I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
