dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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