I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
