Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
