i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
