Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
