KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
