Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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