He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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