why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
