you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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