This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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