she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
