Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
