Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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